breath of fresh air

 I felt good today. 

"Good" in the sense that "I didn't need my Feel Good Friday! playlist to keep the negative thoughts away." "Good" in the sense that "I didn't have to look up to keep the tears from falling." And "good" in the sense that "my breathing was at a nice, constant pace."

It has been awhile since I felt like this. It usually feels as though there is a dark cloud above my head. Or a pair of heavy hands around my neck. But today, the sky was clear and I felt like I could breathe. 

I read from a book that I should take notes on good days so that I can recreate them. But I can't seem to find the reasons today. Is it because I thought I might die the night before and this is some sort of rebirth? Or is it because there is a newfound acceptance and a breath of fresh air after each time you hit rock bottom?

I honestly do not know. But in the meanwhile, let me enjoy this fleeting moment of reprieve before the demons start dancing again.