perhaps love

After 27 years of living, I think I still haven't fully grappled with what it really means to love someone. 

Is it a feeling of affection towards a person? 

Is it wanting only the best for them? 

Or is it wanting to possess and have all of them? 

None of these definitions seem to quite cut it. 

We are capable of loving someone even when the feelings of affection aren’t there. Even when we’re annoyed or frustrated with them. 

We are capable of loving someone and yet not want the best for them if it threatens our own survival. 

We are capable of loving someone while choosing to not have them because sometimes, we understand that it just wasn’t meant to be. 

What, then, does it mean to love someone? 

I don’t know. Perhaps it is whatever we make it out to be. 

Perhaps it is choosing to share some of your joys and sorrows with a person. Perhaps it is being upset or angry at a person, but choosing to stay any way. Perhaps it is choosing to step out of your headspace to see things from their perspective, even when it is so f*cking difficult. Perhaps it is finding out what a psycho the both of you can be but still choosing to say, ‘I do’. 

Perhaps that is love.