Sunday, 26 July 2020

Pandemic fatigue

9.25p.m. Here I am, sitting at the edge of my bed, trying to squeeze out every last bit of creative content that I can. It has been more than a month since I wrote for leisure. I’ve been writing staff papers, one after another, being a good staff officer in my new posting.

As someone who thrives on memorable experiences, tranquil moments and breath-taking sceneries, the pandemic has taken a toll on my quality of life. I lack inspiration and drive to do anything other than work.

Travelling has always been an antidote for me, in this world that I never quite felt I belonged. (But then again, I don’t think anyone really does.) Each time I get overwhelmed by work or worn out from constantly trying to get my act together, I tell myself, ‘a little bit more’. A little bit more to my next getaway – to the sound of the majestic ocean, to sipping cocktail by the beach, and to taking a nice, long walk without a care in this world. To. Really. Unplug. No office calls, no alarms, no obligations.

It struck me today that half a year has gone by without me taking a pause – something that I, as an INFP, absolutely need to be in touch with myself. When Circuit Breaker started, I went into a month of isolation in camp and ever since then, I’ve been living my life as though I’m just waiting for the pandemic to be over and life to resume as per normal. And half a year has gone by, just like that.

And so, I realised that I cannot be waiting for the pandemic to be over before trying to find inspiration, be in touch with myself, and do all the mel things once again.

I don’t know when we will be out of the woods but in the meanwhile, I shall uncap my pen, brush the dust off my life journal and start documenting the highs and the lows, the everythings and nothings, once again.
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