2001. The recess bell has sounded but
Mrs. Tan is still going on and on, scribbling on the chalkboard. I hate it when
the teacher ignores the recess bell. We’ve only got half an hour, and I need to
get my Pokemon eraser today! It takes about 10 minutes to get to the start of
the queue. At this rate, I’m not going to have any time left to eat! Ugh.
2002. It feels great to no longer be a
Primary 1 student. Mom has also finally come to her senses. She agreed to let
me go to my best friend’s home after school! I can’t wait to see her kittens,
watch the whole series of Hamataro and buy my favourite Roller Coaster Potato
Rings from the snack van. She said that it would come by her home at 4p.m.
every day without fail. I saved up 70 cents from lunch, just so that I could
buy it!
2003. I am so relieved that I’m in the
same class as my best friend! They said that they would assign us to different
classes according to our grades. I was so afraid that I wouldn’t be with her
anymore! We met another 5 amazing girls. Every recess break is like an amazing
race. The 7 of us would split up into the 7 different queues to buy food and
drinks from different stalls. I’m always queuing for the fish ball noodles.
They told us not to share our food with one another because of the SARS
outbreak. But who cares. Best friends do things together!!
2004. Our clique is drifting apart. Who
should I stick with? Anyway, our form teacher said that she would be assigning
us with a new sitting arrangement next week! I can’t wait to find out whom I’ll
be sitting beside. Oh, how I wish I’d get to sit beside my eye candy. That
would absolutely be a dream come true!
2005. All of us were split up. I’m in a
new class with almost no one that I know. Thank God for this guy who has been
in the same class as me since Primary 1. It’s getting difficult to hang out
with my girl friends especially when our recess breaks are at different
timings. Oh well, I’ll try my best to find them whenever I can, and we can
watch the boys play football as usual!
2006. Being a senior of the school feels
absolutely liberating. My form teacher made me walk bare-footed as I disobeyed
her and wore ankle socks to school, again. She thought I would feel humiliated
but guess what, I’m loving it! I can’t believe this is my last year in Primary
school. I loved every bit of it and I’m so reluctant to graduate. Oh yes, that
reminds me, I should start adding everyone on Friendster so that we can keep in
contact.
2007. THANK GOD I managed to appeal into
my dream secondary school. It feels slightly odd to be in an all-girls school
but I guess it would be fun. Should I try out for the fencing team, netball
team, choir, dance club, or cheerleading squad? Ah, I don’t know. I made a new
friend and she introduced me to a Taiwanese boy band. Absolutely. In. Love.
Right. Now.
2008. Being in an all-girls school is SO
MUCH FUN. I’ve gotten used to changing into our P.E. shirts in class and
shouting across the room for sanitary pads. I haven’t gotten used to the
prefects, though. They need to stop asking me to lengthen my skirt, pull up my
socks, pin up my hair, blah blah blah. Macs and Island Creamery are also our
new favourite hangouts. My (new) best friend and I would go there almost every
day after school to “study”.
2009. Physics class is the most boring
thing ever. What on earth was I thinking when I chose to do Physics?! The old
couple exercising at the playground outside seems even more entertaining than
my Physics teacher. I can’t wait for classes to end. Sports Day is in 2 weeks
and the cheerleading team is gearing up its training. In my school, no one
really cares about the track events. It’s all about the cheerleading showdown!
I wonder how I can enjoy 5 hours of cheer training every day but I can’t even
stand a single hour in Physics class.
2010. "A" Math class seems to be taking
forever to end. 10 more agonising minutes and we will be rushing out of class
to catch SHINEE’s comeback stage on Music Bank! Pfft. I need to stop my
infatuation with Korean boy bands and start getting down to studying for my O
Levels. The principal actually threatened to make me drop "A" Math if I were to
fail one more time – can you believe it?!
2011. I made it. I never thought I would
make it in life – by life, I mean “do well in your studies”. I made it to the
scholarship programme!!! I heard that Junior College really isn’t a joke. No
more time for fooling around. I’m here to study. I’m here to study.
2012. So much for studying. I AM
ATTACHED. I know, I know, worst year, period, ever, period, to get attached,
period. A Levels. Is screwing up my A Levels worth it? Wait, who says I can’t
have both. Yeah, we can study hard, together.
2013. Damn. I should’ve studied harder
for my A Levels. But at least I’m loving the army life right now. I fired a
machine gun today. How cool is that?!?!
2014. I am finally achieving my dream of
studying abroad! MANCHESTER. With the love of my life. What more can I ask for?
I can’t believe I got to watch Ronaldo play live. And we’ve travelled to
London, Lake District, Barcelona, Brussels, Amsterdam and Berlin. What’s next
on the bucket list?!
2015. Santorini. Santorini. Santorini.
Ever since my birthday trip, I haven’t been able to take my mind off the
beautiful Greek island. It was so surreal. I wanna go back. I wanna go back.
Tuesday,
1 December 2015, 11:20p.m.
A
significant proportion of my time is spent reminiscing and living in the past.
It starts from as early as I can remember (when I was a little kid, chasing
sheep in Switzerland) to just a month ago (Santorini, oh, beautiful Santorini).
I think about how wonderful it would be to relive those moments. To once again
cross paths with the people I (still) think about. Am I the only one like this?
I look across at my partner, embracing the moment, embracing now – holding the X-box
controller in his hand, punching his fist in the air as he celebrates his Fifa
goal with our flat mates. Here I am, stuck in my own reverie, as always. Writing about the past, about
my experiences, writing this.
People have said that I’m anti-social. I try to avoid socials to the best of my
ability, and I would rather walk home alone than have to engage in small talks
with a random schoolmate on the bus. I tell them that I’m introverted. I tell them that it’s not a bad thing – introverts
think before they speak, appreciate alone time and prioritise quality over
quantity. I tell them that it grows with age. I convinced myself of that.
Yet,
now and then, I feel like I’m missing the point. Am I? I keep dreaming about
the past, and about how great it is, that I end up not living in the present.
I keep thinking of the people whom I no longer talk to, and how it would be
nice to be friends again, but have I even crossed their minds? Why, oh why, am
I regressing into my own social circle, which consists of me, my cup of tea and
the computer screen, journaling about the past when this moment, too, will
become a figment of the past? A past that would eventually, if sustained at
this rate, consist of no one but myself?
I
don’t know.
Let
me just shut the computer and watch Big Bang Theory with the rest of them.