But He, I pushed away

Like the sun that never fails to rise,

He appears at the door (of my heart) every day.

I used to find Him a tad bit burdensome,

But the tactful me would still open the door.

I could have been a good host if I wanted to,

But not with deadlines, obligations, and a weary heart.

Yet, despite my half-hearted and insincere company,

He just wouldn’t leave me alone.

While, most of the time, I found it a chore,

There were times when I embraced His presence.

A shoulder to cry on,

A pat on the back.

A word of encouragement,

A sweet affirmation.

I wonder how He endured my tantrums,

My selfish cries and immature mannerisms.

Did He not once felt unappreciated and used?

Was He that naïve to give, and have nothing in return?

Then, there came a day when life threw lemons.

Lemonade, I did not make.

But He, I pushed away.

Carelessly, I spilled my words.

Heartlessly, I locked the door.

More time on my hand, I had acquired.

More space for myself, I thought I would have.

Yet, the peace in my heart was taken away.

My soul left in turmoil,

An unquenchable thirst.

His absence that ought to have brought me reprieve,

Sent raging seas crashing over me.

It wasn’t His presence that caused me great stress,

It was my self-reliance that left me in rags.

“But seek ye first the kingdom of God,

And all these things shall be added unto you.”