
“Good
morning! Good morning! Good morning! Good morning!”
The
sound that I dread the most, the 3 syllables (on repeat) that never fail to
beckon me from my deepest slumber, the melodious tune that would otherwise have
been pleasant to the ears if not for the fact that it was a darn morning
alarm. With the intrusion of my life’s morning’s greatest nemesis, my mind
(without warning) erupts in flames like a volcano that had been dormant for
centuries. My mind…
NOT THAT HORRIBLE SOUND AGAIN. TURN IT
OFF. TURN IT OFF. NOW. NOW.
Let me snooze for 5 minutes. Just 5
minutes.
And
then it goes blank. My mind. These days, it’s becoming a mind of its own. It’s
7.33a.m. in the morning. It takes me 2 minutes to get out of bed, 5 minutes to
wash up, another 5 minutes to get changed and 15 minutes to drive to my work
place. It has all been well planned – my daily ritual – and it usually goes
pretty well. Well, except for days like this. Days when my mind feels that it
needs the extra 5 minutes of sleep. I garner every ounce of willpower to reach
out for the switch to activate my mind. No response.
I end
up late for work.
At
work, my boss tasks me with the honourable role of coming up with innovative
ideas for the new project that my team is working on. I call out to my mind,
appealing to its creative juices. I know that it is capable of much. To
it was due all the credit of the massive success of last year’s project. In an
incredibly short span of 10 minutes, it was able to draw up an entire blueprint
of the company’s event – one that inspired the awe of many and crossed the mind
of none. But right now, it refuses to operate. It refuses to be strained.
4.58p.m.
4.59p.m. 5.00p.m.
Finally.
I
grab my (already packed) laptop bag and drag my legs out of the office. As usual, by
late afternoon, I’m no better than a mindless zombie. Allowing my subconscious
mind to take over, I saunter towards my car and head for home. That’s all that
I’ve been looking forward to. Home. Shower. Dinner. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep.
Sleep.
Something that I’m utterly deprived of. It’s not that I’m extremely busy with
work and overtime – I’m not a banker. I crawl into bed at 11p.m. every night
like an obedient daddy’s girl but it’s not until about 3a.m. in the morning
that I actually start drifting in and out of sleep.
I
tuck myself into bed at 11p.m. exactly. I’m a pretty disciplined person (when
it comes to time) despite my lack of enthusiasm in the day. I heave a sigh of
relief as my head touches the pillow – the day is finally over.
WAIT. My mind. Something doesn’t feel right. Did I forget to do something today?
Woke up, late for work, scolded by my
boss. Ugh. My boss. He’s getting on my nerves. Should I quit? But where can I
go next. Should I get up and research on my options…?
No no no. I have work in the morning. I
need to sleep.
I need to sleep.
I
toss and turn in bed, urging my mind to swim faster and faster towards the
desolate island of sleep that seems only to be floating further and
further away.
This is annoying. I reach out for my iPhone,
turn down its brightness and Google “how
to sleep fast”. Okay. Breathe in slowly
and let your breath out in counts of four. One, Two, Three, Four. Again. One,
Two, Three…
YES. Repetitions. That’s it. The new project should revolve around the idea of repetitions! KPOP is
so successful for their catchy repetitive tunes and dance moves. Flappy bird
and Candy Crush made it big because people were hooked to its repetitive
nature. I’ve gotta write this down. My boss is gonna be so thrilled!
I
pause to consider the consequence of exacerbating my sleep deprivation. I’m
operating in a huge sleep deficit – probably comparable to the U.S. budget. I’m gonna be so cranky at work tomorrow.
But I’m always cranky anyway.
Heck it.
I get
out of bed and turn on my Macbook. I know full well that when my mind starts running
racing, nothing can stand in its way; not even the heaviest of eyelids.
I
give in to my mind, a mind of its own. I give in to another night of insomnia.
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