Living with the monster

 © Jairus Reflections

I’ve encountered many

Who have sucked the life out of me.

Yet they were never as difficult to forgive

As the one who threw me into the abyss.

In church, they teach you forgiveness.

“The one who forgives is the one who’s most courageous.”

Yet no matter how much I fast and pray,

The thought of that one just screws up my day.

It wouldn’t have been so hard to forget,

If I were the only one to whom he owed a debt.

But because he grieved the ones that I treasure,

My heart can never again love with such measure.

I long, I long, I long to escape

But wherever I go, I still see his shape.

Oh Lord, Oh Lord, will you count it as sin

If I’ve forgiven everyone but the one under my skin?

Despite the yearning to end my afflictions,

I’ve chosen to live with the bane of my existence.

For those who’d lament when I say my goodbyes,

I’ve instead decided to embrace the one that I chastise.

So maybe, just maybe, there’s a reason to forgive.

There’s a speck of hope that I could relive.

Because I’m so noble to live with the monster,

Forgiveness is probably something that I can conjure.