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Saturday, 28 March 2015

She killed him with her apathy

© Jairus Reflections
I am a college girl.

I walk to class every day to save up for my (soon-to-be) Michael Kors tote bag. It’s tempting to hop on the public bus – especially since the weather hasn’t been very kind – but no! Every penny counts.

The wind is cruel. My ears hurt. My fingers are numb. But it’s okay. Michael Kors, Michael Kors, Michael Kors…

“Spare change, please.” A homeless man. I feel sorry for him but then again, it’s probably his own fault. My mother always tells me to study hard, lest I become like the beggars on the streets.

He looks pitiful. I should help. Ah, but I need the money. Every penny counts.

I’m just a college girl; the businessman behind me would probably help.

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I am a homeless man.

During the harshest days of winter, I think that it may be my last day on earth. When night falls, I cuddle up into the sleeping bag that some kind soul gave me years ago. The night is never-ending. But I persevere, and I somehow, somehow make it through.

Despite having done this for years, asking for spare change is still the most difficult thing to do. I never dare to look into the eye of my donor. “Thank you.” I would say, with my head bowed, and my heart stabbed by immense shame.

“Get a job!” They always say. I’ve tried. I’ve tried for years. No one wants to hire a man in torn and tattered clothes. I wouldn’t be here if someone wanted to hire me.

I’m a pathetic, shameful and hopeless man. Someone, please help me.

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