Sunday, 27 April 2014

Inferiority complex

I feel small, smaller than ever. 
She strides into the room,
Exuding the confidence that is ever so natural to her.

Her luscious hair falls perfectly on her flawlessly curved shoulders. 
I glance sideways at my unkempt hair and heave a sigh.

Her professionally trimmed brows and her long curled lashes;
They complement her haughty eyes that pierce right through my soul. 

I look to the floor and slowly shift my vision back up again through my slit Asian eyes.

I am greeted by an unusually deep cleavage that runs through her perky bosoms. They are enhanced by the red lacy bra that puts them firmly in place.

Blood rushes to my face as I am suddenly aware of the gap between my breasts and the cups of my bra. 

Her translucent black tank top hugs her body, revealing her neatly toned abs and her tiny huggable waist.
I picture myself in the same tank top and am disgusted by my protruding stomach fats.

Her hips are curved in such a delicate manner, and ticks like a metronome with each step she takes. Her firm butt speaks of her consistent lower body workout routine.

It is a wonder how that beautiful piece of art, handicrafted by God, is supported by two slender long legs that seem like they may break at any instant. 

I slip my hands down to my legs and feel the bulky calf muscles which are undesirable for women. I look down and am taken aback by how my thighs spread out across the chair, hardly leaving any gap. 

I look around,
All eyes are on her.
My heart burns with envy.

Diets, workouts, make-up, clothes.
Options after options race through my mind as I search for one that could make me look more like her.

I feel a tap on my shoulders that awakens me from my reverie. 
"She's something you'll never be," my annoying little brother teases me.

But he is right.
She is something I will never be.
She is gorgeous. She is confident.

I throw aside all the options that I considered. 
It is pointless.
I will never be beautiful.
I feel small, smaller than ever.
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